OUCH!!! My A**!!!!

Piece of crap chair molested me!!!

I have had this really crappy dining room chair for quite a while. Part of the back is missing and a brace is missing one screw which makes it spin around. I never thought much of it to be honest with you until today.

While we were making root beer floats, I got up to get something for my daughter. As I sat down in this chair, the brace went right up my ass!!! Holy crap, talk about a painful surprise!!! I’m so tight it’s difficult for me to pass a strawberry seed! To have this thing go up my ass was probably like having a fire hose shoved up there and then turned on.

I was in so much pain I didn’t know what to do. I picked up the chair and threw it across the room. My oldest daughter was asking what happened and if I was okay but how could I explain that to her? She’s the type that would go around and tell her friends that her daddy got something stuck up his butt. I was very proud of her thoughtfulness though.

So as soon as I composed myself, I immediately took it to the dumpster and threw it away. To be honest, I am really happy it happened to me instead of one of my kids.