singledadblogger.com » Ramblings

When My Son Cries

SingleDadBlogger — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 01:25:43 +0000

The biggest heartbreak with having my disabled son is not knowing “why” he is crying when he just cries. It is heartbreaking enough to know that he will NEVER be a regular kid. Sometimes after he is sleeping I will sit in his room a while just looking at him and wondering what kind of things he would be into if he were normal. Would he be into playing baseball or video games? What would be his favorite thing to do? He is 12 now, would he have a girlfriend? What kind of friends would he have? One of my favorite things to do is just hold him like a baby in my lap and we just love up on each other. Just imagine a grown man holding his twelve year old son like a baby. He’s almost as tall as I am.

It is heartbreaking to know that my son will never run like a regular kid, never eat like a regular person, and will need constant care and supervision throughout his life. It is heartbreaking to see him try so hard to make a word with his mouth only to have it be his voice but no understandable word. I think about these things constantly. But the biggest thing that breaks my heart is not knowing what is making him sad when he cries. I feel a bit helpless because I cannot help him or give him words of wisdom to make him feel better.

Just this evening, I went to hold him and spend some time with him. When I picked him up and set him in my lap, he put out his lip as babies do and tears started to fill his eyes. Why is he sad? I asked him but he cannot answer. Is he sad because his mother left him? Does his tummy hurt him? Is he sad because he knows he will never have a normal life?

These are the things that go through my mind when I am holding my son as he cries.

Puppy Pee

SingleDadBlogger — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 17:26:05 +0000

My girlfriend has this puppy that she really wanted. When she got the puppy, I was under the impression that SHE would be the one cleaning up after it. She does on occasion but, I feel that I do most of it. The puppy sleeps in our room so when he has to go to the bathroom, she will know and let him outside.

Through the time she has had this puppy; I have done nothing but clean up its poop and pee. I wake up in the morning before everybody else. When walking down the hallway I will almost fall on my ass while I slip in some sort of pee. While my coffee is brewing, I have to walk around and clean up pee on the tile and poop on my carpet. As most of you know my son is disabled and crawls around the house all the time. I have never had to worry but now I do worry about him crawling through some sort of poop or pee that I may not have seen.

Keep in mind that my girlfriend DOES clean up after the puppy, just not as much as I feel she should. The other night I put my foot in some pee that was right under my dinner chair. I told her about it and she did nothing saying she thought “I” had cleaned it up.

All of the little girls here in my house have stepped in poop while in their bedroom. Now, I am getting really annoyed. The house is starting to smell like pee because when the puppy pees on the carpet, my girlfriend will just dab it up with a paper towel or something, really just cleaning up the surface.

The other night I got really mad because my daughter stepped in poop while in her bedroom. She told my girlfriend and my girlfriend told her to go wash her foot off. She didn’t bother to find out where the poop was, she said she thought it was outside…it was too dark outside for the girls to play out there. So there I am, picking up dog poop, giving my son a bath, and cleaning up the kitchen all at the same time. All while she sat on the couch watching television.

I obviously got mad and told her the puppy stays outside now except for at night. At night, the puppy can sleep in our room because she does get up and let him out when he needs to go to the bathroom. This really pisses her off. She dosent feel like the puppy should be outside all day.

I’m sorry but I do not like to live in a house that smells like pee. I do not like the fact that the girls cannot be in their bedroom without worrying if they will step in poop. I will be DAMNED if my son crawls through pee or poop.

Peter Connelly (Baby P. )

SingleDadBlogger — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 12:20:54 +0000

A friend of mine sent me this video. JUst watch because I have absolutly no words.

Coming Home

SingleDadBlogger — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 04:25:54 +0000

My kids are super excited. Their Uncle (on the ex-wife’s side) just got home this evening from Iraq. We received a call just before 9 p.m. this evening from him and that he is now home.

He is going to come over tomorrow afternoon. I am hoping he will be up here before I go and get the kids from school, that way he could go with me to surprise them. That would be really cool.

Although he is my “ex” brother in law, he has always treated me like I was his true brother. He has even treated my family with the upmost of respect. I am really happy he is now home and somewhat safe.

Rain??!!

SingleDadBlogger — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 22:27:41 +0000

I have been pressure washing the sidewalks and stuff around my house. My dad let me borrow his pressure washer and I have really been doing it because I am starting a new business and wanted to test some stuff to see how long it would take.

So today I am pressure washing sidewalks and stuff in my back yard. It was a great day for it. It was sunny and hot. I was wearing shorts, floppers, and a tank top. It was really a perfect day for it and I got a ton of stuff done.

So I am outside pressure washing when all of the sudden it gets dark and overcast. I’m pretty much thinking “What the hell”??

All of the sudden it starts to sprinkle. Not little rain drops but really big ones. I didn’t think much of it because the rain water would have actually helped me out. But then it starts to thunder and lightning. My two girls were outside with me when it started to thunder. It was so freaking funny to watch both of them pretty much crap their pants and run inside. I so wish I had my video camera.

So I put my stuff away and got inside. I am really bummed out because I really wanted to get this stuff done. But I will not be working with water when there is lightning around.

Smart dog.

SingleDadBlogger — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:42:57 +0000

: Thats our dog.

We basically inherited our dog when she was a pup. Our friend’s husband was in the military and they had to move somewhere where they could not take a pet. So we let them bring her over here. It was only supposed to be for about two months, then all the sudden he gets stationed in Germany and we got stuck with the dog.

I hated this dog for the longest time and only kept her here because of the kids. She chewed through EVERYTHING! My deck, sprinklers, anything she could find she would chew on it. I kept leaving my gates opened hoping she would get out and run away, no such luck. She would leave for hours on end and always come back.

Then one night after the kids went to bed I was watching t.v. on my couch. I looked out the sliding glass door to see this dog literally walking on her hind legs all the way around this outdoor bar I have so she could see what was on it. That’s when I decided to keep her.

She is extremely protective over the kids. I wouldn’t suggest coming in my back yard when the kids are out there, it will be bad news for you. But if she knows you, she will be the most loving dog in the world. My little one is constantly terrorizing her and this poor dog just sits there and takes it.

Yesterday morning I was sitting here on my computer when I saw her at the sliding glass door. It was slightly opened, and she took her paw and opened the door just a little bit more. The she tried sticking her head through it until she saw me and thought she was in trouble. She looked at me and I said, “Well, come on”. She continued to stick her head in and pushed the door opened with her body.

I don’t know how the hell this dog got so freaking smart.

Radio Show

SingleDadBlogger — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 03:20:53 +0000

I started my business Socal just about a year ago. We did really well in the beginning but hit some snags and now I am the sole and only owner. Just as well because now I don’t have to prove anything to anybody.

I listen to music day in and day out from people that want me to review their CD’s & stuff. I would be lying if I said it wasn’t fun. Plus, if I get the chance to go out all I have to do is drop the Socal name at a club or venue and I am in for free. Major pluses.

So last weekend I had a friend over that used to work for me. He did our video interviews and booked some shows for us. We decided to record a radio show to see how we worked together in that aspect. It went GREAT! We had such good chemistry and you simply don’t find that every day.

So we recorded this great show, but it is really derogatory. So much so that I will NOT let you readers listen to it. But it was a ton of fun.

Now, we have decided to do it on a weekly basis. My friend is introducing me to his manager so who knows; maybe I will be a big radio personality someday. Anybody want an autograph??

Time Travel

SingleDadBlogger — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:57:09 +0000

: Back To The Future

I have ALWAYS loved the “Back to the Future” movies. Whenever I see any of the movies on T.V., I always watch it. I have probably seen every one of them 20 times. I think about how cool it would be to be able to travel into the past or the future. To travel into the past to change something dumb you did or make you life better in some sort of way. Or to travel into the future to see what your life would be like or see how the world is.

I like the whole aspect of time travel. But it gets me thinking. “What if time travel is already possible”? “Or what if time travel is possible in the future”? And if it is, “How do we know people are not already traveling in time as we speak”? Lots of good questions about time travel.

Let’s just say that time travel is possible in the future. What if some guy in the future lives a merger life with very little friends & such. And let’s say this guy is way into the old west type of stuff. What if Billy the Kid was actually some guy from the future that wanted live the old west lifestyle and got all caught up in the whole thing? Think about it, if time travel is possible in the future why couldn’t this have happened? What if Billy the Kid didn’t even exist until this happened?

Or what if something in our past (like presidents & stuff), made different decisions that totally altered the way life is like? Let’s just say that Abe Lincoln didn’t really free slaves. And that nobody did after him. But somebody in the future felt they should be and traveled back in time, took Abe’s place, and freed the slaves making life a lot better for the future?

I know it’s kind of farfetched, but what if it is different in the future? How do we know that we are not really living in the past and everything we are going to do, we already have done?

Sorry, I’m just thinking about and think it is interesting. Now you’re gonna be thinking about it too.

Horrible day shopping!!!

SingleDadBlogger — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 00:36:30 +0000

I had the absolutely worst day shopping today. First, I picked up my little one from her mom’s house. No big deal and it actually went really well. Then, I took the kids to the mall for some lunch and a little more school shopping.

First, we went to lunch at Oscars. My little one was absolutely horrible! She wouldn’t sit down and wanted to be all over the place. Every time I would put her back in her set, she would flip out and start yelling. I was so very frustrated because I was feeding my son. He was hungry too and cannot feed himself. So as I am trying to feed my son, this little turd was running around and being so very bad.

After lunch, we went looking for backpacks. All day long, my little one was flipping out. If she didn’t get her way, she would stary yelling this high pitched scream and lay on the ground. It was very difficult for me to shop, push my son in his wheel chair, and carry a bunch of bags.

After back packs, we went shoe shopping. What a crock of shit that was. I was trying to get my oldest daughter some shoes but again, my youngest was running all over the place. And again, it was difficult to find my oldest daughter some shoes. I tried putting my youngest in her stroller but she flipped out again. I finally got done shopping for shoes and was soooo looking forward to going home and having a beer and at least a pack and a half of smokes.

I realized that I needed more milk before I came home. I decided to go to Kmart because I still haven’t bought my oldest daughters back pack. She REALLY wanted one with wheels. I wasn’t going to let her down.

Now, we are at Kmart. We just walk in and start going down an aisle and I notice my youngest is not with me…again. She was behind me looking at make-up. When I called her, she would not listen to me at all. So I went and picked her up, she immediately started screaming.

I was able to calm her down and I thought that was it. Boy was I wrong! She wanted something in the baby section and I said “NO”. She hit the ground and started her whole crying and screaming thing again. I have NEVER wanted to spank my daughter as much as I did at this point in time. I almost didn’t care who heard, saw, or even if the cops were called.

I was able to get my daughter her back pack with wheels. Now, we are paying. As I am paying, my youngest was running around circles at the doors. My oldest daughter is trying really hard to help me out by chasing her around. Then that little shit made her way outside. I had to stop paying while there was a line in back of me, and go chase my little girl.

Finally paid and on the way home. I am so relieved that I am home now. I really need a bunch of beer and smokes.

My Birthday

SingleDadBlogger — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:43:09 +0000

The 7^th was my birthday. Personally, I could care less about my birthday. When it comes to my kids though, I try to do the best I can. But when it’s mine, it’s just another day to me.

I haven’t had a good birthday for a really long time. Mostly because my family and my second ex-wife did not get along by any means. It made it very difficult and even though it was my birthday, you could still cut the tension with a knife. My family wasn’t even invited to my 30^th.

This year though was different. My mom took me to lunch for my birthday and my sister and her kids were there. It was really nice to have them do that for me, it made me feel really good.

Then in the evening, my family (mom, dad, sister, husband, and her village) came over to my house for dinner. My parents bought me a killer steak and my dad & brother-in-law BBQ’d them for me. The kids played really good and it was just a super nice time.

To be honest as simple as it was, it was one of the best birthdays I have ever had.